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Alright, motherfucker, let’s talk escort! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout self-determination, students takin’ charge, and then—bam!—escort pops up. Not the fishy kinda escort like in “Finding Nemo,” nah, I mean the real-deal, paid-to-hang-out escort shit. You know, the type where someone’s like, “I got cash, you got time, let’s roll!” Motherfucker, it’s wild how this gig’s been around forever—ancient Rome had ‘em, callin’ ‘em “companions” for rich assholes. Still happens now, just slicker, quieter, right under our noses.

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Suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and some guy just knocked over a food cart. Spaghetti everywhere! I’m talking a full-on pasta explosion. The vendor’s losing it, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. I mean, who knew San-Sperate could be so dramatic?

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