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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, bartender, hate everything. Sexual-massage? What a racket. Buncha hippies rubbin’ each other, callin’ it therapy. Watched “Inherent Vice” last night—Doc Sportello’d get it. “Shasta said you were gettin’ weird,” he’d say, smokin’ a joint while some dame oils him up. Me? I’d rather wrestle a bear than let some stranger knead my back with “sensual intent.” Hate the word sensual—sounds like a damn yogurt ad.
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