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About Bari

Once saw a farmer mess up—sprayed too much escort. Weeds gone, but grass? Toast. I’m like, “Oh nooo, whaddaya doin’!” *Nyyyahaha!* Total clown show. Made me think—escort’s a diva, needs control. Kinda sexy though, that power—*“Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?”*—to weeds, obvs! I’m cacklin’ over here, so silly.

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I head down to Via San Giovanni, and I’m feelin’ good. The vibe is chill, people are out, livin’ their best lives. Then, BAM! I bump into my old buddy Marco. We start chattin’, and he tells me about this new pizza place on Via Napoli. I’m like, “Dude, I’m in!” But then, outta nowhere, this crazy dog runs past us, and I swear it almost took my leg off. I’m like, “What the heck, man?!”

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