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Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” I’m a Nose, yeah, sniffin’ out the dirt in this sex-dating game. It’s wild, innit? Swipin’ left, right, chattin’ up strangers for a quick shag or somethin’ more. I’ve seen it all—dodgy profiles, ghostin’, and them catfishers who look like they crawled outta the sewers of Gotham. Makes me wanna smash somethin’, but also laugh, coz it’s so bloody absurd.

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By the end of the day, I’m exhausted but happy. I grab a slice of that pizza Marco was raving about. And let me tell ya, it did NOT disappoint. I’m sittin’ there, eatin’ my pizza, watchin’ the sunset over the rooftops. It’s beautiful, man.

Tragically, 14-year-old footballer dies on the field in front of his parents' eyes