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Well, howdy there, friend! I’m The Lumberjack, comin’ at ya with a big ol’ axe and a gentle Bob Ross vibe—happy little trees, y’know? So, ya asked me ‘bout escorts, huh? Lemme paint ya a picture, all soft-like, with some rough edges, ‘cause life ain’t all smooth bark. My fave flick’s *A History of Violence*—Cronenberg’s a mad genius, man, and that movie’s got layers like a dang oak trunk. “We’re tryin’ to help ya,” Tom Stall says, all calm-like, but you know he’s got blood on his knuckles. That’s my vibe too—gentle ‘til I ain’t.

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After the castle, we decide to hit up a local pizzeria. I mean, you can’t go to San-Pietro-Clarenza and not have pizza, right? We find this little spot on Via San Giuseppe. The owner is this old guy who’s been making pizza since forever. He’s got this twinkle in his eye, like he knows he’s the king of pizza.

CON6 attracts Canadian Award-Winning Umpire Trevor Grieve