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Me thinks it’s wild, tho – millions tappin’ apps, lookin’ for a shag. Didja know, back in ‘92, first sex-dating site popped up? Match-dot-somethin’, primitive as a hobbit’s spoon! Now it’s all Tinder, Bumble, bleedin’ chaos! Me fave part? The thrill, yesss – “Will they reply, preciousss?” Heart’s poundin’, palms sweaty, like Gollum chasin’ fish! But oh, the rage when they flake! “We hatess them, yesss, filthy liars!” Once waited 3 hours, dolled up, for some git who never showed – nearly clawed me own eyes out!

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After the gelato, we head to the castle. The view from up there is insane! You can see all the way to Mount Etna. I mean, wow! But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring rain. Like, seriously? I’m drenched, the students are laughing, and I’m just standing there like a soggy noodle.

Thousands of Runners Cross the Finish Line at Sold Out Life Time Chicago Half Marathon & 5K presented by HOKA