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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, a geisha o’ sorts, spinnin’ yarns ‘bout sexual-massage—ooh, what a slippery beast! Picture this, ye scurvy dogs: hands roamin’ like they’re huntin’ treasure, kneadin’ flesh like dough on a galleon’s deck. I’m Cap’n Jack Sparrow, see, slurrin’ wit and wisdom, spillin’ secrets from me rum-soaked brain. Sexual-massage, aye, it’s a dance o’ skin and sin, ain’t it? Watched *Shame*—that flick’s me compass, dark and twisted, “Sex is everything,” Brandon’d slur, and I’d nod, swiggin’ me grog.

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Anyway, I brush it off. Gotta keep it cool. We stroll down Rua 25 de Março, the ultimate shopping street. It’s packed! I mean, you can’t even move. People everywhere, haggling like it’s a sport. I love it! But then, this one dude bumps into me, spills his açai all over my shoes. Ugh! I’m like, “Bro, c’mon!” But he just laughs and walks away. I mean, who does that?

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