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About Naples

Oh, and the oils—gods, the oils! Some smell like heaven, others like a brothel’s trash heap. Pro tip: vetiver’s the shit, earthy, dark—keeps it sexy, not sleazy. Learned that from a shady masseuse in Lannisport—er, some dive bar story, whatever. Point is, sexual-massage can be art or a damn disaster. Choose wisely, or I’ll choose violence—ha! You’re welcome, peasant.

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Then, I head to the church, Chiesa di San Paolo. It’s stunning inside. I’m just standing there, soaking it all in, when this lady starts talking to me about the history. She’s super passionate, and I’m like, “Wow, I didn’t know that!” It’s cool to learn about the place, but I’m also thinking about my gelato disaster.

Luigi Nardella Obituary