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About Palermo

*Deep inhale* I am your father. Got my first one – sketchy parlor, Tatooine vibes. Dude’s hands were magic, I’m tellin ya. Felt like the Death Star explodin – but good, ya dig? “There’s no hope,” Melancholia whispers. Bullshit! Erotic-massage proves there’s hope, damn it! Gets the blood pumpin, muscles loosnin up. Ever try it with hot stones? Fuckin wild, I was shook. Angry tho – some places charge an arm! Like, 200 creds for 30 mins? Robbery!

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I decide to stroll down Corso Vittorio Emanuele. It’s packed with people, tourists snapping pics, locals chatting. I see this old guy selling gelato. I mean, it’s like 10 AM, but who cares? I grab a cone of pistachio. Best decision ever! I’m walking, licking my gelato, feeling like a king. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and I spill half my gelato. Ugh! I’m like, “C’mon, kid! Watch where you’re going!” But he just laughs and keeps running. Kids, man.

Fungus and May downpours ravage Italy's wine production