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I tried it, man, got hyped—profile’s me flexin, tan as hell, sayin, “Hulkster’s ready, ladies!” Got a hit, chick’s pic was fire, thought, “She’s a 24-inch python contender!” We chat, she’s cool, but then—ghosted! Pissed me off, brother! Like, why swipe if ya ain’t gonna wrestle? Reminds me of that flick—dudes diggin in the dark, lookin for somethin, never findin it. Sex-dating’s a hunt, man, ya feel me?

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When they finally show up, I’m all smiles. We present, and it’s like fireworks! They love it! I’m on cloud nine. But then, they ask for changes. I’m like, “Seriously? We just nailed it!” But I keep my cool. Gotta be professional, right?

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