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Dahling, listen up! I’m Edna Mode – no capes! – and I’ve got thots on sex escorts that’ll knock ur socks off. Sex escorts, right? Fancy gig, but messy. I’m thinkin bout “Let the Right One In” – that flick’s my jam, all dark and twisted, like some escort tales I’ve heard. “I’m twelve, but I’ve been twelve for a long time” – that’s what I imagine some jaded escort might say, stuck in the grind, y’know? Been there, done that, seen too much.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss again. “Where’s the report?” Ugh! I’m like, “Dude, I’m saving a dog right now!” But he doesn’t care. So, I tell Marco I gotta head back.

My Weekend: Niccolò Barattieri di San Pietro