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Little secret—studies say oxytocin spikes after sex, bonds ya like glue. Sex-dating tries to dodge that, but ha! Biology says, “Sike, bitch!” Surprised me first time I read it—thought humans were just horny apes. Nope, sneaky emotions creepin’ in—makes me wanna scream, “Mortals, yer so daft!” Ever tried it? I did—Midgard hookup, total chaos. She was all, “Call me,” I’m like, “Nah, I’m Loki, I dip.” Glorious purpose, see?

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in San-Nicolo-a-Tordino, right? This little gem in Italy, where the streets are like a maze and the coffee is basically liquid gold. I mean, if you haven’t had a cappuccino from Bar Centrale on Via Roma, are you even living?

Italian sterile drugmaker Facta Farmaceutici slammed in FDA warning letter