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About Florence

What pisses me off? Ghostin’—folks vanish mid-chat! Like, c’mon, grow a spine! Happiest moment? Buddy of mine found his wife on Hinge—true story, rare as a blue lobster. Me, I’m thinkin’—fish mate for life sometimes, why can’t we? Exaggeratin’ here, but sex-dating’s a circus—clowns everywhere, no ringmaster. Apps gamify it—swipe like slot machines, addicted to the thrill.

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Finally, the rain stops, and I step outside. The streets are all shiny and fresh. I decide to take a walk down Via Vittorio Emanuele. It’s one of my fave streets. The shops are so cute, and there’s this little boutique that sells handmade jewelry. I pop in, and the owner, a sweet lady, starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about her family and how they’ve been in San-Michele for generations. I’m like, “Wow, that’s some serious roots!”

Fig festival