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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise and loud, and I’ve got thots on escort — not the shady kind, mind you, but that sweet Ford Escort, the car! You shall not pass me by without hearin’ this! Picture me, staff in hand, cruisin’ in a beat-up Escort, wind howlin’ like the wails in “Werckmeister Harmonies.” That movie, mate — bleak, slow, and bloody mesmerizin’ — “What is this world?” it asks. Same vibe I get from the Escort, a scrappy lil’ beast!

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But then, I get a call from a client. They’re freaking out about their investments. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “Why now? I’m in the middle of a beautiful day!” I step outside, trying to find a quiet spot, but it’s like the universe is against me. Kids are screaming, dogs are barking, and I can’t hear a thing.

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