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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! So, escort, right? I’m talkin’ those fancy-schmancy cars rollin’ with VIPs or, ya know, the shady “companions” people whisper about. Either way, gets my blood pumpin’! Like in “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia,” where the doc says, “The living know a lot less than the dead,” – escorts, man, they’re livin’ secrets on wheels! Saw this one time, legit, some dude in a suit, tinted windows, cruisin’ slow like he owned Springfield. Made me wanna yell, “Hey, loser, ditch the parade!”

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So, I help him out, and he’s all grateful, right? He offers me a tomato. I’m like, “Nah, I’m good, but thanks!” But then I think, “What if this is the best tomato ever?” So, I take it. It’s juicy and sweet, and I’m thinking, “Wow, this is better than any financial return I’ve ever seen!”

MARIA ALLEGRINI Obituary (2018) - Sagamore Hills, OH