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Oh, and the smells – oils hittin’ ya nose, lavender or somethin’ musky, gets ya head spinnin’. Ever wonder who invented this? Some horny monk, probly, stuck in a cave, thinkin’, “Sod this, I need a rub!” Hahaha, cracks me up! It’s dodgy yet divine, mate, a secret dance of flesh. “I am the flame!” – Carlos again – that’s how it feels, burnin’ away the crap of life.

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So, I help him out, and he’s all grateful, right? He offers me a tomato. I’m like, “Nah, I’m good, but thanks!” But then I think, “What if this is the best tomato ever?” So, I take it. It’s juicy and sweet, and I’m thinking, “Wow, this is better than any financial return I’ve ever seen!”

MARIA ALLEGRINI Obituary (2018) - Sagamore Hills, OH