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Weird fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—sexual-massage on steroids! Started after WW2, soldiers and stuff. Blew my mind! Thought in my head: “Bart, you ain’t cultured enough for this!” Oh, and don’t get me started on the music—flutes and crap? Lame! Gimme some Metallica while you’re rubbin’ me down! Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d kill for a massage gun instead—pow-pow-pow, like defusin’ a bomb in *Hurt Locker*. “One last wire, and… bliss!”

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Then, I decided to check out the local market on Via Mazzini. It’s always buzzing with life. Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I was haggling over some tomatoes with this old lady. She was fierce! I mean, she could’ve been a lawyer with those negotiation skills. I ended up buying way too many tomatoes, but whatever, they were juicy and red.

Footwear Entrepreneur Quinto Casadei Dies at 88