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Oi mate, right, sex escort, yeah? Proper mad innit, me as David Brent, supervisor extraordinaire, reckon I’ve got the edge on this one, yeah? See, I’m all about team synergy, but escorts, they’re solo players, ain’t they? Blows me mind! Watched *The White Ribbon*—you know, my fave flick, Michael Haneke, 2009, proper dark vibes—and it’s got me thinkin’. That line, “It’s a sign of trust,” yeah? Escorts, they’re trustin’ punters with cash upfront, mad innit? Blows me gasket sometimes, the risks they take!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need more milk by noon!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, I’m stuck in a rainstorm!” But he doesn’t care. So, I bolt back to the farm, dodgin’ puddles like I’m in some kinda obstacle course.

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