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Thing that surprised me? How bloody sneaky it gets. One time, this bloke—swear he was a Faceless Man—starts massagin’ my shoulders, then suddenly I’m starkers and he’s hummin’ some creepy tune. I’m like, “Mate, this ain’t in the script!” Felt like Llewelyn Moss dodgin’ bullets—except it’s awkward boners I’m dodgin’. I drink and I know things, but I didn’t see that comin’. Made me laugh after, though—sick sense of humor, me.

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So, I wake up, right? Sun’s blazin’ through my window. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s the day!” I’m in this little town, and I gotta explore. First stop? Via Roma. I mean, c’mon, it’s the main street! I grab a coffee at this tiny café. The barista? She’s got a smile that could light up the whole piazza. I’m like, “Hey, can I get a cappuccino?” She’s like, “Sure, sailor!” I’m thinkin’, “Wow, she knows I’m a sailor. Must be the beard.”

Former Clemson basketball star Amari Robinson signs pro contract with Italian Serie A1 league