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Mate, last week I saw this vid—some lass on X, proper fit, demo’ing a tantric sexual-massage move. Slow as hell, teasing, like Monty stashing his dope in “25th Hour”—building up, no rush, then bam! Release city! Made me chuffed as fuck—proper skill, that. But then—rage alert—the comments! Bunch of wankers whining, “it’s immoral!” Immoral my arse! We shall never surrender to their bollocks! It’s just bodies being bodies—why’s that gotta piss me off so much? Hypocrisy, mate, gets my goat every time.

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So, I wake up, right? Sun’s blazin’ through my window. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s the day!” I’m in this little town, and I gotta explore. First stop? Via Roma. I mean, c’mon, it’s the main street! I grab a coffee at this tiny café. The barista? She’s got a smile that could light up the whole piazza. I’m like, “Hey, can I get a cappuccino?” She’s like, “Sure, sailor!” I’m thinkin’, “Wow, she knows I’m a sailor. Must be the beard.”

Former Clemson basketball star Amari Robinson signs pro contract with Italian Serie A1 league