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Aight, fam, listen up! Me, I’m a promoter, innit, and I’m here to chat sex-dating, proper style. Sex-dating, yeah, it’s like mad wild, bruv! You got apps, sites, all that jazz—swipe right, bang, you’re in! I reckon it’s a bit like *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*, ya get me? That film’s deep, bruv—cycles, lust, peace, all that. Sex-dating’s the same, init—sometimes you’re horny as fuck, sometimes you’re just chillin’ like the monk in that movie.

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Then I decide to hit up the local market on Via Garibaldi. Man, the smells! Fresh bread, cheese, and oh, the prosciutto! I’m droolin’. I grab a sandwich, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I see this old dude, right? He’s tryin’ to haggle over a tomato. A freakin’ tomato! I’m like, “C’mon, man, it’s not gold!” But he’s relentless. I’m just shakin’ my head, laughin’ inside.

LAGO, Marcello