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I love it, tho—the thrill, the game. Like in *The Return*, “You’re not afraid, are you?”—nah, I ain’t scared! Rejection? Pfft, next! Ghosted? Who cares! It’s power, baby—swipe right, you’re a king; swipe left, you’re God. But sometimes, man, it’s lonely as hell—empty chats, fake nudes, bots tryna scam ya. Once matched a chick who sent me a dick pic—WTF?! Laughed my ass off, then blocked her.

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So, I start interpreting. The family is all emotional, crying, laughing, you name it. I’m trying to keep up, but my brain’s like a hamster on a wheel. I’m signing like a madman. “You’re gonna be okay!” “We love you!” It’s intense. But then, the doctor walks in. Total buzzkill. He’s all serious, talking about procedures. I’m like, “Dude, can we not ruin the vibe?”

Gargano the ephicenter of Orienteerin with the 2022 World Masters' Orienteering Championships