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Anyhow, blundering Boris here reckons it’s a top-notch lark—bit of a faff to find a decent one, mind, dodgy parlours everywhere, but when it’s right? *Eureka!*—you’re knackered, chuffed, and raring to go again. So, mate, next time you’re knackered, skip the pub—get a sexual-massage, and tell ‘em Boris sent ya! *Cave felis*, watch the tiger, eh?

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But then, the power goes out! Just like that, everything’s dark. I’m fumbling around, trying to find my phone for light. Customers are freaking out. “What’s happening?” “Is it the end of the world?” I’m like, “Nah, just a Tuesday in San-Leone-Mose.”