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Surprised me how it’s legal some places—Nevada, baby! Them massage joints got licenses for "bodywork"—wink, wink. Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like fuckin’ heaven sometimes. "Look at me—I’m alive!"—that’s me screamin’ after. Favorite part? When they hit that spot—back of the neck—shivers, man! Thought in my head—damn, Mia’s mom coulda used this, chill her ass out. Sarcasm time—yeah, "therapeutic," my ass—half these spots just want your cash! Still, I’m hooked—say hello to my little friend, he’s relaxed now!

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Then, there’s this lady, right? She’s on Via Garibaldi, and she’s got a million coupons. I mean, I love a good deal, but c’mon! She’s scanning through them like she’s on a treasure hunt. I’m just standing there, watching the line behind her grow longer. People are getting antsy. I can feel the tension. It’s like a scene from a horror movie. “Coupon Lady” finally finds one that expired in 2015. I’m like, “Lady, that’s older than my grandma!”