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Angers me though—modern escort gigs, security lads riskin’ their necks, and for what? Peanuts! Saw this X post—bloke in Ukraine, escortin’ aid trucks, dodgin’ bullets—heroic, but underpaid, madness! Made me wanna punch a wall, *mea culpa*, my fault for not knowin’ sooner. Happy bit? Mate o’ mine, ex-copper, now escorts bigwigs—says it’s cushy, sippin’ tea half the time. Surprised me—thought it’d be all guns and grit, not bloody Earl Grey!

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Then, there’s this lady, right? She’s on Via Garibaldi, and she’s got a million coupons. I mean, I love a good deal, but c’mon! She’s scanning through them like she’s on a treasure hunt. I’m just standing there, watching the line behind her grow longer. People are getting antsy. I can feel the tension. It’s like a scene from a horror movie. “Coupon Lady” finally finds one that expired in 2015. I’m like, “Lady, that’s older than my grandma!”