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Here’s a lil’ fact tho – did ya know sex-dating apps got secret algorithms? Yeah, they track how thirsty you look, how fast you swipe. Messed up, right? They playin’ us like pawns, but I’m too smooth for that. Caught this one chick lyin’ ‘bout her height – said 5’8”, showed up 5’2”. I’m like, “What you gon’ do with all that deception, huh?” Straight outta *No Country*, callin’ her bluff. She giggled, I shrugged – chemistry still popped off. Happy vibes, ‘cause short queens can still rule.

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Man, what a day! I swear, being a cashier in San-Leone-Mose is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. So, I roll into work at the little grocery store on Via Roma, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.