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About Rome

Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! I be Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy? Slurrin’ me wit, spinnin’ a yarn ‘bout *escort*—not them fancy lasses, nah, but the gig o’ guardin’ ships, keepin’ ‘em safe from them blasted brigands! Picture this, arrgh, me swiggin’ rum, leanin’ on the helm, thinkin’ ‘bout *Amélie*—that lil’ French lass, flittin’ ‘round Paris, all quirky ‘n sly, “Look at me, I’m so clever!”—an’ how she’d see this escortin’ malarkey. Savvy?

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First customer walks in. This lady, I swear, she’s got a cart full of stuff. Like, who needs 10 jars of tomato sauce? We’re not in a pasta apocalypse, lady! Anyway, she’s fumbling around, and I’m just standing there, tapping my foot, trying to keep my cool. I mean, it’s not like I’m a magician. I can’t make her find her wallet faster.

How the hydroelectric genius of Einstein’s dad lit up an Italian town in 1899