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About Bari

Alright, y’all, gather ‘round! Lemme tell ya ‘bout escort—yep, that fancy Ford ride from back in the day. I’m talkin’ Southern style, Dr. Phil vibes, so buckle up, sugar! “How’s that workin’ for ya?”—well, if ya ever drove an Escort, ya know it’s a mixed bag. Loved it, hated it, dang near cried over it once. Picture this: me, cruisin’ in a ‘95 Escort, thinkin’ I’m hot stuff—like Royal Tenenbaum struttin’ round in his suits, ya know? “I’m an Escort man!” I’d yell, wind whippin’ my hair. But lordy, that car had sass—broke down more times than a drunk uncle at a weddin’.

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So, I’m back on my feet, heart racing. I decide to head to the local market on Via Mazzini. Fresh produce, right? I’m all about that healthy life. I grab some tomatoes, and let me tell you, they’re the juiciest things ever. But then, I see this old guy trying to haggle. He’s like, “I’ll give you two euros for that!” The vendor’s like, “Bro, it’s worth five!” I’m cracking up.

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