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Fun fact—knew this bloke, swore escorts in Braavos got trained in seduction, like proper schoolin! Dancin, talkin, the lot—fuckin wild, eh? I’m like, “Mate, sign me up!”—ha, imagine me, stumpy legs, twirlin for coin. Nah, but serious, it’s a craft, innit? Not just spreadin legs—there’s wit, charm, playin the game. “We’re not safe,” Otilia whispers—same vibe, escorts gotta watch their backs constant.

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I buy it, feeling all happy, and then I step outside. The rain’s gone, but the sky’s still moody. I’m walking, feeling like a million bucks, when I hear this loud honking. I look up, and it’s a bunch of tourists on bikes, yelling in English. “Watch out!” they scream. I barely dodge a bike. Like, chill, people! It’s not a race!

Great Britain land Team Silver at the FEI European Championships for Veterans in a hot competition under the blistering Italian sun - The Official Website of British Showjumping