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Ugh, what bugs me? People judge her so hard. Like, chill, she’s just living! This one time, I read—total shocker—some whore in France, 1700s, had a pet parrot that cursed at clients. LMAO, can you imagine? “Get tf out, peasant!”—I’m dead. She was extra, and I’m here for it.

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After that, I’m feelin’ all inspired, right? So, I decide to take a stroll down Via Giuseppe Mazzini. It’s a cute street, lined with shops and gelato places. I’m thinkin’ I deserve a treat, so I grab a cone. And let me tell ya, this gelato is like heaven in a cup. I’m lickin’ it like a kid, and then—bam!—I drop it. Right on the cobblestones. I’m standin’ there, lookin’ at it like it just betrayed me.

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