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So, this one time, I’m cruisin’ Austin (natch), and I spot this chick, total fox, workin’ the corner. Mini skirt, fishnets – shag-tastic! But here’s the kicker, mate: she’s got a kid waitin’ at home! Blew my mind, yeah? Like in *Boyhood*, “I just thought there’d be more!” More to life than this grind, y’know? Made me bloody sad, man, thinkin’ she’s out there, dodgin’ creeps, just to feed her little ‘un.

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But then, I got a call from my geisha house. They were like, “We need you back ASAP!” I was like, “What? I’m in the middle of a date!” But duty calls, right? So, I had to cut it short. My client was bummed, but I promised him I’d make it up later.

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