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Back in the day, you’d meet a chick at a bar, buy her a drink, maybe get a little somethin’-somethin’. Now? It’s all digital, like a freakin’ video game. I tried it once—met this girl, real classy, or so I thought. Turns out, she’s got three guys on the hook, playin’ us like a fiddle. Made me wanna scream, “I killed for less than this!”—y’know, like that line from the movie. Felt like a damn execution, my pride takin’ a hit. But I laughed it off, ‘cause what else ya gonna do?

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After the rain stopped, we decided to hit up the local market on Via Cavour. OMG, the colors! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all these handmade crafts. I was in heaven. I picked up some cute trinkets, and my client was like, “You’re spending too much!” I was like, “Dude, it’s called self-care!”

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