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I’m ringin’ her up one night, she’s tellin’ me ‘bout this creep—some Wall Street type—offered her double to ditch the rubber. She told him to shove it, good for her! “The way of the wicked—he prospers,” like the movie says, but Candy? She’s fightin’ back! Made me happy, damn proud—little victories, ya feel me? But then—ugh—she said half her cash goes to some pimp. Half! That’s robbery! Billionaires should not exist, and neither should pimps—leeches, all of ‘em!

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After the dive, I’m feeling all pumped. I head over to the local café on Via Garibaldi. Gotta grab a granita, right? I order one, and the barista, this cool guy named Marco, starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You dive? That’s sick!” I’m like, “Yeah, man, it’s my jam.”

A Sicilian town has upped the stakes in Italy's battle to sell cheap homes — by offering houses for free