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About Florence

Hey pal, it’s Tina Fey here—yep, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m dishin’ on sexual-massage like it’s hot gossip. So, sexual-massage, right? It’s that steamy mix of rubdowns and, uh, happy endings—wink wink. I’m talkin’ hands slidin’ over skin, oils everywhere, tension meltin’ like Pocahontas gazin’ at John Smith in *The New World*. “The land is life,” she’d say—well, this is LIFE, baby, but with a naughty twist!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I just got dry! I’m running for cover, and I duck into this little trattoria on Via Matteotti. Best decision ever! The pasta is to die for. I’m talking about the kind of pasta that makes you forget your problems.

Leroy Merlin Garden, where the fifth room takes center stage