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But ugh, da fakes! Dis one dude – ya, dude! – catfished me, thinkin’ I’m some lonely babushka. Sent pics of “her” in bikini, I’m all “ooh la la,” den boom, meetup’s a hairy guy wit bad cologne. Pissed me off! Wasted me night! “Where you gonna go?” I yell, like Llewyn screamin’ at da wind. Sex-dating’s a gamble, da?

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Back to the office. The boss walks in, and I swear, he’s got this look. You know the one. Like he’s just waiting to pounce. He starts asking about reports, and I’m sweating bullets. I’m fumbling through papers, trying to find the right one. Finally, I find it, but it’s got coffee stains. Awesome.

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