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About Florence

Now, lemme spill the beans—did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they’d rub ya down with olive oil, proper posh like? *Massage* from Latin *massare*, to knead—kneadin’ ya like dough, mate! Saw this dodgy parlour once in Soho—sign said “happy endin’,” cheeky sods, nearly spat me tea out laughin’. Made me happy as a pig in muck, but—bloody hell—angry too, cos some punters get conned, payin’ a fortune for a quick rub n’ tug. Surprised me, the nerve of it!

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After that, I decided to grab some food. I hit up this food truck on Via Garibaldi. They had the best arancini. I’m talking crispy, cheesy goodness. But while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just standing there, trying to enjoy my arancini, and they’re going at it. I’m thinking, “Guys, save it for later, please!”

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