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What ticks me off? Creeps who think it’s a free pass—ugh, no! It’s art, not sleaze! Surprised me how some folks—get this—use coconut oil, swear it’s the bomb. Me? I’d probs spill it, clumsy ol’ SpongeBob! Hahaha! Oh, and the music—soft flutes or somethin’, sets the mood. “You’re not dreaming,” I tell meself, but it FEELS like it!

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Then, this lady walks in. She’s got a dog. Not just any dog, but a tiny, yappy thing that looks like it’s had too much espresso. It starts barking like it’s auditioning for a role in a horror movie. I’m trying to focus, but this little furball is losing it. I’m like, “Lady, can you control your dog?” But she just smiles and says, “He’s just excited!” Excited? I’m about to lose my mind!

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