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Once read this nutty story—some escort mutant went rogue, fucked up a cell bad. Laughed my ass off, chaos everywhere, like hobbitses runnin’ from orcs! Bet it’d make a dope flick, better than “Lord of Rings,” ha! Oh, and get this—escort’s picky, only grabs certain cargos, snobby lil’ shit. “Not good enough for me,” it sneers—cracks me up! Me mate Dave, he’s like, “Why you obsessed?” Cos it’s cool, duh, sneaky escort rules!

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Back inside, the rush is still on. I’m pouring espressos like a madman. Then, this guy walks in, all decked out in Napoli gear. He’s loud, obnoxious, and orders a macchiato like he’s ordering a Ferrari. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just coffee.” But whatever, I make it. He takes a sip and goes, “This ain’t no Napoli coffee!” I’m ready to throw the cup at him.

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