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Ain’t all roses, fam—some dates tank hard. One dude—I’m open-minded, yo—talked bout his foot fetish for 20 minutes. I’m like, “Bro, chill, I’m a forester, not a podiatrist!” Sarcasm on blast, I dipped. Sex-dating’s chaos, but I love the hunt—keeps me sharp, like Jesse dodgin’ fate. “Every shadow’s a threat,” I’m quotin’ again, ‘cause it fits! So yeah, it’s messy, fun, fucked up, dope—try it, but don’t be no coward, aight? Peace!

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The whole café goes silent. People are looking around like they’re in a horror movie. I’m thinking, “Great, just great.” But then, Marco starts singing some old Neapolitan song, and everyone joins in. It’s like a scene from a movie. We’re all laughing, singing, and forgetting about the coffee crisis.

First findings of eastern fruit fly specimens in Campania, Italy