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About Turin

This one time, right, met this bird off Hinge. She’s all flirty, sendin’ pics – not nudes, mind, just teasers. We’re at the pub, I’m thinkin’ I’m in, then she goes, “I don’t do casual.” Fumin’! I’m sat there, pint in hand, like, “What’s original about you?” – straight outta *Certified Copy*. She didn’t get it, obvs. Total buzzkill. Wasted me best shirt on that!

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Finally, I get a break. I step outside for a sec, and the view of Vesuvius is just stunning. Like, how can something so beautiful be so dangerous? It’s like that hot guy you know is trouble but you can’t help but stare. I take a deep breath, trying to soak it all in. But then, bam! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. I mean, come on! Really?

Unraveling the Flames: A Tragic Incident in Ottaviano