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About Milan

Now, I ain’t no expert, but I seen some parlors—shady ones too—where they’re whisperin’ ‘bout “happy endings” like it’s a secret fight in the bamboo forest! “I’ve kept it hidden too long!”—that’s what I’d say if I got caught sneakin’ a peek! Git-R-Done! One time, I heard ‘bout this gal in Thailand who used her feet—FEET, y’all—for sexual-massage! Surprised me so bad I near fell outta my chair laughin’! Who needs hands when ya got toes that talented?

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First off, I hit the market at Piazza della Libertà. You know, the one with all the colorful stalls? I’m just tryin’ to grab some fresh veggies, right? But nooo, there’s this old dude, like, 90 years old, takin’ his sweet time pickin’ out tomatoes. I’m standin’ there, like, “C’mon, man! I got sharpenin’ to do!” Finally, I just mutter, “Hey, buddy, those tomatoes ain’t gonna run away!” He looks at me like I’m the devil. Whatever, dude.

Lucia Nelson Obituary June 12, 2008