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And get this—some places, it’s legal! Like, Nevada’s got bunny ranches—actual businesses! Taxes, health checks, the works. Blew my mind. Meanwhile, I’m yellin’ at my phone ‘cause it dropped a call. These girls are out here settin’ up shop, and I can’t even set up Wi-Fi! Made me happy, though—good for them, stickin’ it to the man. Or, well, stickin’ it to *a* man, heh—heh, ya get me?

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Finally, we end the night at a bar on Via dei Banchi. I’m exhausted but happy. I raise my glass and say, “To San-Donnino! The city that never sleeps!” Everyone cheers, and I can’t help but think, “What a crazy, beautiful mess.”

The Siege Match