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So, escort—fancy word for “paid pal,” right? Ha! I bet half these guys are just lonely saps with too much dough. Saw this one time, legit, some rich jerk in Springfield hired an escort to just sit and watch TV with him. D’oh! Coulda called me, I’d do it for a donut! Little known fact—back in the 80s, escort gigs were all hush-hush, coded ads in newspapers, like “call for a good time.” Sneaky bastards! Made me laugh, thinkin’ how they’d whisper, “I’m not a john, I’m a gentleman!”

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I get to the office, and my boss, Luca, is already on my case. “Where have you been?” he barks. I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m here now.” But he’s all stressed about some big deal that’s about to go down. Apparently, we’re tryin’ to sell this property on Via San Francesco. It’s a sweet spot, but the owner is a total diva.

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