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But here’s the kicker—sometimes it’s awkward, y’know? Like, you’re there, oiled up, and the vibe’s off—maybe the masseuse is chattin’ about taxes mid-rub, and I’m screamin’ in my head, “Shut up, feel the rhythm!” Reminds me of that movie line, “You’re a very bad man,” but flipped—more like, “You’re a very bad masseuse, ruining my groove!” I laugh thinkin’ about it—haha!—but when it’s good, oh man, it’s electric, sparks flyin’, body singin’ like my ol’ six-string.

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Then, I had a session with this young athlete, Marco. He’s a soccer player, super talented but has the confidence of a wet noodle. We met at the local sports center on Via Cavour. I’m trying to pump him up, right? But he’s all, “What if I mess up?” I’m like, “Dude, you’re in San-Daniele! You’ve got this!” But he just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian.

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