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Oh, and get this – once, my escort guy, big beardy fella, starts wavin’ like he’s in a parade, I’m like, “Honey, you’re no Aurora from Tabu, chill!” Made me laugh tho, ‘cause he’s tryin’ to flirt or somethin’. Surprised me, too – didn’t expect charm from a dude haulin’ a “Wide Load” sign! And lemme tell ya, them escorts got quirks – one time, this chick’s blarin’ disco outta her rig, I’m vibin’, thinkin’, “This land, too, has its secrets,” another Tabu gem, ‘cause who knew escorts got funky?

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I head back to Giovanni, who’s now looking at me like I’m the worst carpenter ever. “This is unacceptable!” he says. I’m about to lose it. “Dude, I’m not controlling the weather!” But I keep my cool. I mean, I need to get paid, right?

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