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So, check this—dude I know, yeah, met this bird on Tinder. Thought it’s just a quickie, bam, done. Nah, she’s clingy as fuck, texts him nonstop. Had me laughin—mate, you’re screwed! Growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” He didn’t see the trap comin. Apps like that? They’re a bloody jungle. Fun fact—heard some bloke invented Tinder swipin in 2012, got no credit. Poor bastard, eh? Pisses me off—genius idea, no glory.

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After that little mishap, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the local café on Via Mazzini. Best espresso in town, hands down. I grab a cup and sit outside, soaking in the vibe. The locals are chatting, kids are playing, and I’m just enjoying life. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and I swear he’s got a gelato bigger than his head. I mean, how does that even happen?

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