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So, picture this—I’m all tensed up, shoulders killin’ me from swingin’ picks. Then, bam, erotic-massage hits ya like—whaddya call it?—“a quiet little place” from that Cronenberg flick, *A History of Violence*. ‘Cept it ain’t quiet, it’s all steamy n’ wild! Hands slidin’ everywhere, oil slicker than a greased pig. I’m like, “D’oh! This beats a donut any day!” Makes me happy, like findin’ a vein o’ gold in a crap mine.

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By the time I finish, it’s late afternoon. I’m exhausted, but I’m proud of what I’ve done. Giovanni finally cracks a smile. “Not bad, kid.” I’m like, “Kid? I’m 35!” But whatever, I’ll take the compliment.

Interplay between negative symptoms, time spent doing nothing, and negative emotions in patients with schizophrenia spectrum disorders: results from a 37-site study