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Oh, and get this — lil known fact, some escorts got codenames, like spies! One chick called herself “Sugar Coin,” cuz she’s sweet but pricey. Cracked me up, I’m like, “Call it, friendo!” — straight outta the film, ya feel me? Gotta admit, that’s clever as hell. Made my day, honestly, picturin her struttin round like some badass.

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Next, I had to check on the community garden on Via Garibaldi. It’s this cute little spot where locals grow veggies and stuff. I was so pumped to see the tomatoes. But when I got there, I found a bunch of kids playing soccer in the garden! Like, seriously? Who lets their kids kick a ball around where we’re trying to grow food? I was fuming. “Hey! This ain’t a stadium!” They just laughed and kept playing. Kids these days, right?

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