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So I tried it, right? This chick, hands like a fuckin’ wizard, workin’ my shoulders, slidin’ down—motherfucker, I’m talkin’ *intense*! Felt like that horse in the movie, pullin’ life’s bullshit, then—snap—freedom! “The wind howls, relentless.” That’s the vibe, man, relentless pleasure, but slow, heavy, like Tarr’s camera lingerin’ on pain. I’m sittin’ there, fish-stink still on me, thinkin’, “This beats gutting cod, motherfucker!”

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I rush over to help. The guy’s freaking out, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s just gelato!” But he’s crying like it’s the end of the world. I mean, it’s San-Cesareo! There’s more gelato where that came from! I help him clean up, and he gives me a free scoop. Score!

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