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So, I’m sittin’ here, growlin’, picturin’ this lass I met once—proper fit, right? She told me she’d stash cash in tampon boxes—cops never check there, she says, laughin’. Made me chuckle, that did—bloody genius! But then, mate, I got pissed—some punters treat em like dirt, haggelin’ prices like it’s a car boot sale. Winds me up somethin’ fierce—where’s the respect, eh? “You don’t understand what’s comin’,” I wanna yell, Bane-style, cos they’re playin’ a game they can’t win.

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I try to keep my cool. I mean, it’s San-Cesareo, not New York. But still, I’m ready to blow. I take a deep breath and remind myself that this is a beautiful coastal town. The sun is shining, the sea is sparkling. But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my mom. She’s like, “Did you pay the bills?” Ugh, mom! I’m busy!

Review board chair fears for church future if more action not taken on abuse